Skipping along (literally, Anna was walking on air, the excitement bubbling out of her so much I couldn’t help but feel the same) on the way there, I started feeling a little apprehensive. What if she falls really hard and skins her knees badly and never wants to do this again? And of course, there were the “Bad Mommy” tapes playing in my head as I wondered how bad it really was to have her out here doing this with no knee or elbow pads, only her helmet. But she was determined to go for it and make this work and so was I. As images of Anna getting impatient, or falling, or maybe even (gulp!) bleeding ran through my head, and considering the possibility of needing to calm the tears and frustration, possibly carrying her the two blocks home (why DO our heads always rush to the worst picture?), I decided I needed to preface this little outing with a little motherly wisdom. Anticipating the possibility of failure, I decided to mentally prepare her for the possibility that this outing may not necessarily be the easy and over-the-top-fun excursion she may have idealized in her little seven-year old Disney-watching, princess-loving brain. “You know, learning something new isn’t always easy. It might take a while and it might even feel a little frustrating if you can’t do it right away. But if we don’t take some risks and feel a little uncomfortable, we can’t really learn cool new things, right?” There — I set the stage. Her reply, “I know, Mom. But I’m not leaving this blacktop til I figure it out and I can do it.” Cool. Off to a good start…
What followed was a truly awesome time with this determined and awesome little 40 pound package of joy. She started out slow and easy, holding my arm, then reaching for it when she got off balance. She stumbled and smiled. She delighted over being able to balance while at least standing. She took basic steps, kind of walking on the skates, chattering away all the while. She got into a bit of a rhythm. She lost her balance and giggled. She fell down on her butt and laughed “Ah-ha! There I go!” But it was the tone and intent behind her exclamation that stuck with me – it wasn’t like the adult version of, “there I go again, screwing up and not getting the hang of this AGAIN…” but as in “Of course! I fell down and that’s what’s supposed to happen! I’m one fall closer to getting this down!” Several more times she fell and giggled with the “AH-HA – THERE I GO!” utterance. There was a spirit of joy, of being gentle with herself — not judging — that was there. It really struck me…
We left, after she proclaimed, “I’ve got this down, Mom. This was awesome!”
Watching her deal with the inevitable falls, noticing the spirit with which she dealt with them, really got me thinking as we triumphantly headed back home. What would be possible for me in my own life, in my consulting and coaching practice if I were to courageously glide out of my comfort zone and take some “gulpier” risks on a more regular basis? What if I could just really fully show up, joyfully celebrating failure, knowing that it just got me a step closer to where I want to be?
So much of my coaching work with leaders involves just that…trying something new – a new practice, a new behavior, a different kind of conversation. Taking the risk of feeling silly, of having it not go perfectly – but showing up nonetheless and being open to the possibility of failing. If we as leaders didn’t judge ourselves so harshly when we make a misstep, could be more gentle with ourselves – just think of the possible heights we could achieve that we (even unconsciously) limit ourselves from achieving. Stepping out, falling, failing, and saying to ourselves “AH-HA! There I go again! I’m one step closer to getting it!” Really showing up – playing FULL OUT. Celebrating our falls deliciously. That’s a 7 year old’s primer on stepping out of your comfort zone…what say you?